One of my favorite things of the new year is to identify new areas of growth I’d like to focus on.  This is pure bliss for an INTJ like myself.  Planning, planning, planning gives me a “sick, sugar” rush.  However, I’ve found that as my life has gotten busier with children, figuring out new routines that intentionally create change has been a challenge.  This year has definitely been disappointing.  I was supposed to have done a financial budget by the end of January.  It’s March and I just got it done.  My spiritual discipline for the year is meditation and I have yet to figure out a time of day I can do it consistently.  It’s not that I need it to be at the same time of day but I like it to be because I find I do it when it’s consistent.  I’ve even “goaled” fun intentionality’s such as doing something fun with girlfriends once a month and I’m one for two.

So, at the beginning of March, I find myself asking, what needs to be different?  How am I going to get moving towards what I think it important?  Though time will tell whether this is the complete answer, I’m recognizing the importance of rest, relaxation and laughter.  There will always be laundry to do, pages to write, things that can be improved but if I don’t schedule in (or be intentional) about that which is fun and restful, then I’m going to continue on this trajectory of not creating space for newness.  A week into my “experiment,” I’ve had greater mental space by scheduling in a 30 minute quiet/rest/reading/napping time in the afternoon.  I’ve ironically gotten more done in less amount of time.  I’ve also had space to “pre plan” date nights, family outings and “me” time so I’m not living in that which is directly in front of me or feeling urgent.

Now, lest I give the impression that all is “fixed” and resolved, it isn’t.  I am writing a book and didn’t put in the ten hours of writing I needed to this week.  I didn’t practice meditation every day, in part because I completely forgot on some days.  I’d hoped for more times of fun with my kids and just didn’t make it happen because I was bogged down with getting “necessary” things done.  However, I’m not beating myself up, which feels wonderful.  I’m not trying to “pull” up my bootstraps and make it happen.  Instead, I’m listening — listening to He who resides within me, listening to my internal messages, listening to my family’s and friend’s input and listening to the rush of goodness I feel when I dance, laugh and tickle my kids.


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